The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children
Every year in the United States, over three million cases of child abuse and neglect are reported. Over two thousand children die as a result of that abuse (“What Does A Moment Cost?”). The ones that survived endured countless amounts of emotional, physical, mental and social trauma. When a child witnesses or experiences abuse in their home, it leaves them scarred for life. They can suffer from dissociative behavior and emotional distance. Children can either revert back to infant-like tendencies or grow mature beyond their years. They can also become physically or emotionally sick from experiencing or witnessing violence at home. Children living in households involved in domestic violence are severely affected in all aspects of their life.
When a child lives with domestic violence, they may suffer from dissociative behavior and emotional distance. The child will try to divert attention from fighting, remove themselves and their siblings to other parts of the house, and mostly respond with "I don't know," "I don't care," "It's their problem," (“About Children in Domestic Violence Situations”). Children may suffer from anxiety or depression (Walter). When fighting occurs, the child will tune out and fade into the background. It was reported that, "the severely traumatized child may ignore severe pain, repress memory and hallucinate. Victims of the severest abuse develop personality fragments or alters" (“About Children in Domestic Violence Situations”).
Children who suffer from domestic violence may become mature beyond their years or even regress back to habits they had when they were infants. Children witnessing domestic violence may suffer from delays in important areas of development such as motor, social, and cognitive skills. C. J. Newton states, "Exposure to trauma, especially family violence, interferes with a child's normal development of trust and later exploratory behaviors, which lead to the development of autonomy." The child may undergo pseudo-maturation, protecting the victimized parent (even intervening physically in fights), or may become primary caretaker of victim and siblings. Guilt about the violence can also occur along with a protectiveness of the mother (“About Children in Domestic Violence Situations.”). C. J. Newton also commented:
Many of these children were not allowed to have a real childhood. They don't trust their fathers because of his role as an abuser and they may have been worried about what to expect when coming home. They learned at a young age to be prepared for anything.
Children can also become emotionally, physically, or socially sick from witnessing or experiencing violence. Emotional factors include depression, aggressive behavior, separation anxiety, hostility, irritability, and reclusive tendencies. Children can also suffer from headaches, stomach problems, asthma, ulcers, and diarrhea (About Children in Domestic Violence Situations.”). Witnessing or experiencing violence can lead to aggressive tendencies in peer relationships, and can also cause children to become batterers in their later life (Walter). Professor Jeffery Edelson says that, "Children being exposed to domestic violence contributes to a number of behavioral and social problems, ranging from anxiety and depression to increased aggression towards their peers."
Children whose parents are divorcing to get out of an abusive relationship should live with their father. There is no necessary connection between spousal abuse and child abuse, so fathers should not be denied custody of their children because of past abuse of their wives. On the other hand, abusive fathers are twice as likely to seek custody of their children as other fathers as a way to perpetuate control over their ex-wives. Between 40% and 60% of men who abuse their wives also abuse their children. In sight of that, it was testified that, “Children with abusive fathers, despite those dangers, may be more likely than other children to live with their fathers after their parents separate,” (“The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children”).
Children whose parents are divorcing to stop an abusive relationship should live with their mother. Women are awarded custody of their children in eighty five percent of court hearings, if the request is uncontested. In contrast, charges of battery are often used in court hearings to gain the upper hand, or they may be unfit to care for their children. More than half of all child abusers are female, and sometimes victims of abuse lash out at their children as a result of the stress and trauma (“The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children.”). Studies indicate that, “…in a few cases, it is the victims, reacting to stress and trauma, who abuse their children,” (Walker).
“What does a moment cost? To a parent who loses control? To a child whose life changes in that instant? To a community faced with the results? To you?” (“What Does A Moment Cost?). Whether or not children experience violence in their homes, witnessing or being victimized from it will leave scars that they will carry with them forever.
Works Cited
Newton, C. J. “Domestic Violence: An Overview.” Findcounseling.com. Feb. 2001. Web. 4 Oct. 2010. <http://www.findcounseling.com/journal/domestic-violence/domestic-violence- children.html>
"The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children (sidebar)." Issues & Controversies On File: n. pag. Issues & Controversies. Facts On File News Services, 12 June 1998. Web. 3 Oct. 2010. <http://www.2facts.com/article/ib301290>.
Walton, Stephanie. "When Violence Hits Home." State Legislatures Vol. 29, No. 6. June 2003: 31-33. SIRS Researcher. Web. 03 Oct 2010.
“What Does A Moment Cost?” The San Francisco Child Abuse Prevention Center. 2010. Web. 3 Oct. 2010. <http://www.sfcapc.org/>
